Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough - The Atlantic
By Lori Gottlieb
Lori Gottlieb is a graduate of Stanford Medical School, a New York Times best selling author, a contributor to NPR, who has written for The New York Times, Time, and The Atlantic. Her career is a runaway success, yet at 40, she's still single. She wrote, what amounts to an open letter to young, smart, career minded woman, in the March issue of Atlantic, begging them to settle for "Mr. Good Enough." It's a very funny/sad article that made me at once ecstatic to be a man and sad for my female friends for whom this article was written.
Many of those friends, mostly twnetysomethings, have gotten their hands on the article and have been talking about it fervently. I would be interested in hearing their thoughts and I hope they take a moment to respond to this post with their feelings about the article. I did talk to one of my married friends who is in her early 30's and without even reading the article she agreed 100 percent that women should settle. This is a non-issue for me because I'll never have to settle. If I don't find the women of my dreams (a 20 something with a bright future and a palpable sexual energy) in the next 15 years, I'll still have another 15 years to keep looking and never diminish my ability to start a family. Women on the other hand, only have a short window to procreate.
Is this fair? Yes. Men are born with just enough genetic code to exist, while women are born with the complete catalogue of the human genetic code. Therefore women are the greater sex. They have the power to create life with the help of just a few cells. Men need an entire woman to pass on their genes. Once science figures out how to manufacture sperm in the lab, the arguments for keeping men around will hold less and less weight. Men start wars, die sooner, are stupider, and most of us go bald. The advantages we do have are that we get more attractive as we age and our sperm works well into our 70's. So I don't feel bad that you have to have all your children by 37.
Read the article and let's have a discussion.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Music Matters - Melody Gardot
Melody Gardot - Worrisome Heart, Universal Classics and Jazz
Download Now - Worrisome Heart, Some Lessons (Heck just get the whole album for $5.99 at iTunes)
Melody Gardot's sultry jazz vocals are unobtrusive yet deeply affecting. Worrisome Heart, Gardot's first full length album, is the kind of record that you put on for ambient sound, but it's also the album you put on to steady an emotional crisis of the heart. For Gardot, love is real and terrifying. The fragility and urgency of life may be more apparent to Gardot, who survived a serious bicycle/car collision when she was a teenager; she was on the bike. The accident resulted in injuries that require her to use a cane, wear sun glasses all the time, and wear earplugs to treat her Hyperacusis/Tinnitus. She's walks on a fragile frame and has hyper-sensitive senses but the music she makes is sturdy and never overbearing. The musical styling shies away from sugary poppiness and cleaves hard to pure Jazz. The characters in her songs are venerable and exposed, but safe in the hands of Jazz which creates a community of exposed instruments and players. This is one of those rare works of art that meets you where you are and doesn't ask questions.
Download Now - Worrisome Heart, Some Lessons (Heck just get the whole album for $5.99 at iTunes)
Melody Gardot's sultry jazz vocals are unobtrusive yet deeply affecting. Worrisome Heart, Gardot's first full length album, is the kind of record that you put on for ambient sound, but it's also the album you put on to steady an emotional crisis of the heart. For Gardot, love is real and terrifying. The fragility and urgency of life may be more apparent to Gardot, who survived a serious bicycle/car collision when she was a teenager; she was on the bike. The accident resulted in injuries that require her to use a cane, wear sun glasses all the time, and wear earplugs to treat her Hyperacusis/Tinnitus. She's walks on a fragile frame and has hyper-sensitive senses but the music she makes is sturdy and never overbearing. The musical styling shies away from sugary poppiness and cleaves hard to pure Jazz. The characters in her songs are venerable and exposed, but safe in the hands of Jazz which creates a community of exposed instruments and players. This is one of those rare works of art that meets you where you are and doesn't ask questions.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Music Matters - The Rescues
The Rescues - The Rescues (EP), Red Wind
Download Now - "Break Me Out"
The Rescues' self-titled, self-released debut EP is at times fresh and alive, but a sense of inertia prevents the band from breaking new ground. Don't get me wrong, the music is easy to listen to, clean, and likable. For example, "Break me Out" is a perfect spring time anthem that captures the hope of new love and new beginnings. "My Heart With You" is an a cappella masterpiece that is at once haunting and uplifting (think Imogen Heap's, "Hide and Seek"). But the other four songs on the EP lack the same forward motion. In these songs passive actors stand by while their lives happen to them. The musical choices in these songs also seem safe, devoid of risk and adventure. I have the feeling these songs will grow on me but will never become more than background music for reading on the metro.
The Rescues and Me
I have really high hopes for The Rescues. The band is comprised of three singer/songwriters who, after collaborating for years, recently decided to form a band. Adrianne and Gabriel Mann are old friends of mine, but I don't know the lovely Kyler England. For full disclosure’s sake, I'm in love with Adrianne. It's love at first sight when I see her open for Vienna Teng in January 2007 at a show in Annapolis, Maryland. She plays her deeply personal and poetic songs on her acoustic guitar and chats humorously about life on the road. Prompted by one of her anecdotes, I give her my phone number after the show. She never calls, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to see her again. My dream comes true when I read that she's coming to my neighborhood Indie music venue. At this show I'm introduced to The North La Brea All Star Conquistadors, a group comprised of Adrianne, Gabriel Mann, Jay Nash and Garrison Star. Each is a singer /songwriter and the group forms while playing the same venue in southern California. The concert is incredible. Four musicians who can each easily lead a band work seamlessly together to create a rich multi-layered musical experience. But the groups songs are rearrangements of the individual songs of each member. So when I hear that Adrianna and Gabriel Mann have a new band that is going to make new music I get really really excited.
So I download the EP and its good but I want it to be great. I tell myself that this is just the EP and they are saving the real gems for the LP. I tell myself, give it time and you will love every song. And I tell myself, you are one of the lucky few who even know the magnitude of their potential and I'm satisfied. I feel how Gabriel Mann might have felt when he helped an unknown local artist, Sara Barellies, get some of her songs on tape, that is, I feel confident that I hold important music in my hands that needs to be shared with the world.
Download Now - "Break Me Out"
The Rescues' self-titled, self-released debut EP is at times fresh and alive, but a sense of inertia prevents the band from breaking new ground. Don't get me wrong, the music is easy to listen to, clean, and likable. For example, "Break me Out" is a perfect spring time anthem that captures the hope of new love and new beginnings. "My Heart With You" is an a cappella masterpiece that is at once haunting and uplifting (think Imogen Heap's, "Hide and Seek"). But the other four songs on the EP lack the same forward motion. In these songs passive actors stand by while their lives happen to them. The musical choices in these songs also seem safe, devoid of risk and adventure. I have the feeling these songs will grow on me but will never become more than background music for reading on the metro.
The Rescues and Me
I have really high hopes for The Rescues. The band is comprised of three singer/songwriters who, after collaborating for years, recently decided to form a band. Adrianne and Gabriel Mann are old friends of mine, but I don't know the lovely Kyler England. For full disclosure’s sake, I'm in love with Adrianne. It's love at first sight when I see her open for Vienna Teng in January 2007 at a show in Annapolis, Maryland. She plays her deeply personal and poetic songs on her acoustic guitar and chats humorously about life on the road. Prompted by one of her anecdotes, I give her my phone number after the show. She never calls, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to see her again. My dream comes true when I read that she's coming to my neighborhood Indie music venue. At this show I'm introduced to The North La Brea All Star Conquistadors, a group comprised of Adrianne, Gabriel Mann, Jay Nash and Garrison Star. Each is a singer /songwriter and the group forms while playing the same venue in southern California. The concert is incredible. Four musicians who can each easily lead a band work seamlessly together to create a rich multi-layered musical experience. But the groups songs are rearrangements of the individual songs of each member. So when I hear that Adrianna and Gabriel Mann have a new band that is going to make new music I get really really excited.
So I download the EP and its good but I want it to be great. I tell myself that this is just the EP and they are saving the real gems for the LP. I tell myself, give it time and you will love every song. And I tell myself, you are one of the lucky few who even know the magnitude of their potential and I'm satisfied. I feel how Gabriel Mann might have felt when he helped an unknown local artist, Sara Barellies, get some of her songs on tape, that is, I feel confident that I hold important music in my hands that needs to be shared with the world.
Monday, March 03, 2008
Oscar Matters - Marion Cotillard's 9/11 Thoughts
An Open Letter to Marion Cotillard
Dear Marion -
Now that you have an Oscar, your in-depth analysis of the geo-political and economic reasons why the 9/11 attacks were faked are now going to make news. As someone who wants to see your slender body of work fattened up over time I have one request; stick to what you know. You are an actress, heck the best actress of 2008, so when you give interviews talk about your expertise. Your advice on craft could help untold numbers of aspiring actresses achieve their dreams. Your insight into on set politics could save productions time and money. You have real life experience in acting that others could benefit from, so I'm begging you, talk about that in your next encounter with the press.
You are not Rosie O’Donnell. Rosie can say and do whatever she wants because she made us fall in love with her before she told us she was a crazy person. She's like our crazy Aunt who we will always invite over for Thanksgiving and always send home early in a taxi because we are stuck with her. But we barely know you. Your first impression was good and we invited you to the ball. But now you've insulted us and maybe it's because you're French and think you don't need us, but honey, the real truth is we don't need you. I'm all for free speech and holding the government to account, but Hollywood isn't afraid to blackball people to protect its financial interests. For your own good, make us fall in love with you through your work before you poke us in the eye.
At the Oscars your dress was gorgeous and your French accent was super sexy and I want to see you around for years to come. Don't pull a Tom Cruise and torpedo your career.
Your acquaintance,
Aaron
Dear Marion -
Now that you have an Oscar, your in-depth analysis of the geo-political and economic reasons why the 9/11 attacks were faked are now going to make news. As someone who wants to see your slender body of work fattened up over time I have one request; stick to what you know. You are an actress, heck the best actress of 2008, so when you give interviews talk about your expertise. Your advice on craft could help untold numbers of aspiring actresses achieve their dreams. Your insight into on set politics could save productions time and money. You have real life experience in acting that others could benefit from, so I'm begging you, talk about that in your next encounter with the press.
You are not Rosie O’Donnell. Rosie can say and do whatever she wants because she made us fall in love with her before she told us she was a crazy person. She's like our crazy Aunt who we will always invite over for Thanksgiving and always send home early in a taxi because we are stuck with her. But we barely know you. Your first impression was good and we invited you to the ball. But now you've insulted us and maybe it's because you're French and think you don't need us, but honey, the real truth is we don't need you. I'm all for free speech and holding the government to account, but Hollywood isn't afraid to blackball people to protect its financial interests. For your own good, make us fall in love with you through your work before you poke us in the eye.
At the Oscars your dress was gorgeous and your French accent was super sexy and I want to see you around for years to come. Don't pull a Tom Cruise and torpedo your career.
Your acquaintance,
Aaron
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